Tick Tock

Time
Always ticking
Never enough it seems
It's funny how when you want it to speed up
It stops

But when you want more

It's gone

Time doesn't give second chances

It only happens once

And you can never change it

Or get it back

Tick tock, tick tock
Isn't that how most think of time?

The noises of a clock

They're the first things to come to mind
But what about the people
In the days where clocks didn't exist

What did they think?

Was the thought simply dismissed?
Did they think of the sun?
Rising and falling
Warning them of the light and dark
Always approaching
Never failing to show up
In the early morning
Everyone would wake up
Birds would sing

Or in the evening

As dusk sends the world into darkness
Coming out are the creatures of the night
While all the rest sleep their weary heads
Tick tock, tick tock
Again with the clock
Time's slipping away
Mine's almost up

(P.S. I wrote this after I finished with my math final today since I didn't have anything to read...)

Weed

Envy
A poisonous weed
It needs but one reason
One seed
It sprouts and grows
And before you know
It takes control
Turns you cold
Your thoughts become wicked
Acid burns you through
You want nothing less

Than for them to be you

To make them feel the way you do

You want their perfect lives to cease

So that you could be them
So that you could reign supreme
But the weed will merely spread

You would become the victim of hatred

People will think the way you do

They will want to be rid of you
Life is not easy
It's a bitter-sweet song
But like a tree
You must stand strong
You must fight this green demon
You must stop it in its tracks

End the cycle

For it will not last

If it doesn't have hatred to feed on

Pain to make it grow

Fear to urge on

And blindness to not know

I battle on

I don't know how much more I can take

I cannot make even one mistake

I must never let the seed grow

But if it does

I hope you know

Reflection

I look in the mirror and see
There's a girl, vaguely familiar
She's staring back at me
Who is this girl?
I know I've seen her before
She's a teenager now
But there's much more
She's wearing makeup
Mascara and eyeshadow
Her hair looks different
Much more golden yellow
Her shoulders seem to droop
Where did all her energy go?
She used to dance around
Listening to the radio
Where's that smile that she hates?
It seems to be missing
And what are those red spots all over her face?

It's a bit saddening

She's grown so much taller

Not the munchkin anymore

But she's sagging

Her confidence is no more

But still there's something very wrong

She's all on her own

Where did all her friends go?
She used to have so many
She'd play and talk for hours
Now she just looks lonely
Water builds up in her eyes

Tears begin to stream down her face

She starts to shake

And I realize who she is

I am this girl

All grown up

The years went by so fast

But at the same time so slow

I walk away then

Not wanting to see this girl anymore

I don't like her

I miss how she was before

Candle

Lighting a candle

Watching it slowly burn

Hypnotizing to the eye

It flickers, twists and turns

Orange and yellow

The glow is warm

Even though it is small

It fills the room

With a sense of calm

And as shadows dance across the wall

Your eyes are bright

The flame stays strong

You embrace the warmth

The comforting flow

Of energy traveling

To and fro

Hope is like a candle

Lighting your way

Even through the darkest hallway

It keeps one calm

It makes one think

It helps one rise

After it sank

Hope is the light

The one that always burns bright

The one that helps you see

Who you are
Where you belong

When the time is right

It is energy

It is purpose

And it helps you see through the night

Hope is there

Always

Forever

Br​ight

Alone

To be alone

To feel empty

To be in constant fear

Of losing what you had

The ones you once held dear

They're gone now

Or so it seems

That's how it's turned out for me

I'm longing for one person to maybe look at me

They'll say,

Hey! Look! At that girl over there

Isn't she special?

But no one seems to care

That she's sitting alone

No friends beside her

Shunned, ignored

Those people must be monsters

A tear rolls down her cheek

As she faces the truth

She is not wanted

Not perfect

Like the others in the group

She was given a chance

To show her worth

But I guess she blew it

Because she's alone

Writing a lonely poem to the world

Black Widow

He was a spider
I was a fly
I flew right into his sweet web of lies
I didn't struggle
Trusted his words
I was trapped
But wasn't concerned
I was deceived and blinded by words
Until he showed me his true form
A lying, evil, thief of love

A spider that wants to drink my blood
He sucked out my soul
Left me dead
I swore I'd never make that mistake again
I would keep myself guarded
With lock and key
Wouldn't ever let myself fall in too deep.
I'd be more careful
I'd be tough
I wouldn't be prisoner
but instead ally of love.
No longer a fly
But instead a bird
Flying free
I sing my sad song to the world

(P.S. I wrote this in March, while I was reflecting on a past relationship)

More About Me

I sometimes long to have held closer the ones that I loved

And yet, I also wish to have never held on at all

Letting go is like running away from home

You want to get as far away as possible

But at the end of it all

You just want to go home to the ones you love

My heart is sometimes half full

And at other times half empty

It's glued together and scarred

From the times it's been broken and then fixed

But every time I fall in love

A little chip of my heart is replaced

With a little piece of the one I once held dear

Those people I will always love

No matter what they've done to me

Because I don't have enough room for hate

I know one day, that all my dear friends will be gone

Replaced by the grown up life that awaits us all

Sometimes, it's almost like I bring that day closer

I wish to be smarter, more mature than my peers

And because of that

I become less and less like the child I once was

And thinking about it now,

That's the last thing I want

I tell myself that I should be more carefree

But once you grow up

It can be a challenge to become young once again

My poetry, I'm not sure what about it is so special

Is it the feeling? The rhythm? The message?

I will never know for sure

All I can say is that it just flows

It's my form of meditation

Letting out everything that troubles me so

To gain some sort of inner peace


(P.S. I wrote this in February)